Bittersweet Transitions

“CHANGE IS THE ESSENCE OF LIFE. BE WILLING TO SURRENDER WHAT YOU ARE FOR WHAT YOU COULD BECOME .” Author Unknown    

      I have been a Registered Nurse for forty-four years and for the past fifteen years, a Family Nurse Practitioner. Nursing has defined me since the day I decided  I wanted to be a nurse:

      Back in my eighth-grade study hall, while reading “Anne Snow,Mountain Nurse” my  heart was thumping so loudly, I felt certain my classmates could hear it. Riding a horse through the mountain passes of Virginia, Anne Snow ministered to poor people and their families in their rundown cabins as a community health nurse. I could just see her bringing healing and consolation to those families. Staring out into that sunny March afternoon in 1959, I visualized myself on that horse, in those mountains, with the sun breaking through the trees as I found my way to those cabins. I would reach out to wipe a beady brow or console a crying baby while an anxious mother looked on. I soaked up every word, all the time seeing myself being Anne Snow. I could hardly wait to tell my best friend, June.

      In 1971, my Dad,bless his heart, encouraged me in this letter to go back to school for my Bachelor in Nursing degree with these words :

     “Give a man a fish and he will eat tonight. Teach him how to fish and he will eat every night. I’m not concerned with an estate, but with seeing you develop so you can create your own estate.”

      I did go on to get my Bachelors, Masters and Family Nursing Practitioner degrees. Nursing became my best friend through divorce, single parenting, cancer, life. I have always had a job, not a job, a calling.  When I needed to be there for my young children, I found a day job.When I was too sick to work in the clinical area with patients, I could be a consultant for an on-line nursing program. I’ve been a staff nurse on general medical floors, emergency departments and in ICU,a camp nurse for emotionally disturbed adolescents, a director of an emergency department, a  director of nursing of several small hospitals, a nursing faculty member for baccalaureate and associate degree nursing programs. I am finishing off my career as a Family Nurse Practitioner doing primary care for children and adults. I have loved,loved,loved my calling. I am humbled and honored to have had the privilege of this calling, the opportunity to make a positive difference in the lives of people who trust me with their care.

     So when the time came to consider retiring from Nursing, I balked,agonized, cried, knowing all along that I wanted to take leave when I was at the top of my game. I wanted to know when it was time to gracefully bow out. But I didn’t want to retire. I wanted to just simply transition into another phase. I wanted to go to something better.

     Travel writer,Alexis Grant talks about taking the big  life-changing leaps in this post, citing that it may never be the right time to follow your dream-“making the decision comes down to just that-making the decision.”

     And so,it is time. I have made my decision. I will transition from Nursing,my calling, and move on to this next phase of my life in August where I will continue  following my dreams. I am looking forward to spending more precious time with my family and friends, playing the piano more, reading more,writing more,planting flowers and just breathing in the fresh air.

     Remember, how my Dad showed up while I was floating in a rowboat a few weeks back? Well,while he was there, he asked me,

     Kathy, do you remember what I taught you?

     Yes,Dad. You already taught me how to fish.

     OK, then, cast your net , and reel in your bounty.

     That’s when I knew it was OK~bittersweet , but OK.

     I know that I have to surrender what I am now. I can hardly wait to see what I will become!

How about you~ What are your bittersweet transitions?

What do you dream of becoming?